Changes

Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride.

I think that little saying will be my next tattoo. :-) When I think about that phrase, I think about so much, so many things. I think about all the things that have taken place in my life – some have been great and some not so great, some things I will never forget and some things I wish I could. But, I guess it kinda goes along the lines of one of my favorite sayings, “It may not be the journey you had planned, but it was that journey that made you who you are today.”

Over the last couple of months, I have kinda taken a step back from my life. I began watching my life from the outside looking in. I have taken some time out for myself and have taken some much needed “me time.” While the boys have gone to football practice, I have stayed home and soaked up the alone time. I have really just taken some deep breaths and wanted some time to find myself again. I wanted to figure out what and where I want to be in life.

I found myself getting really aggravated at those around me – to the point that I was ready to just “go off” on anyone. And for a while I couldn’t figure it out. I thought maybe they were getting worse in their actions so I was just really seeing it more. I thought everyone around me was going mad, like craziness on a night with a full moon. But, as I began watching from the outside, I realized something . . . it wasn’t them that had changed. It was me – I’m the one that is changing.

I’m finding a new me - not only a new me on the outside but on the inside as well. I have learned a lot about myself over the last couple months. I’ve realized that I’m “growing up.” That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to or can’t go out and have fun. It just means that I’m 30 years old now and my views on life are changing. I find myself pushing away from the negative things in my life. Some of it absolutely breaks my heart, but I just can’t handle it anymore. I’m trying to take more responsibility for my actions and I’m trying to be less controlling. (I know, that one will be a tough one! ha ha) I want to get out more and experience life. I want to take Shane places and do things that he will never forget. He will be 8 in September and now is the time when he starts remembering things for the rest of his life. I want his childhood memories to be filled with love and laughter! I want to go on “first dates” with Austin more often.

Ya know, we only get one life. One chance to live each day - that's it! There is no rewind or do-overs. God blessed me with life for another day and I'm gonna make good use of his blessing. I’m learning how to be a new me and I can see the direction I want to go in. So, I want to be the best me I can be.


Now for the outside me – I’m really gonna have to step it up come Monday. Bubba Tyler has been here with us this week, so the diet has been blown! But, that’s alright I got my cravings out of my mind and now I’m ready to keep rockin’! Everyone says the biggest area they can see the difference is in my face and in my stomach. Woooohhhhooooo!


Until my mind wanders again . . . . .


Love and blessings!



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